Random Thoughts - 1

I am pretty amazed at bloggers who post so much of personal information about their lives on their blog and I am talking real personal. Yes the blog is a kind of a journal, but how much of everything which goes on in your personal life would you want your friends and relatives to know? Call me old fashioned but I am a very private person - have always been. Not even my parents would always know what I am up to, especially if it has anything to do about conversations with a guy or anything on those lines. That is classified information and I wouldn't want my parents, friends or relatives knowing about everything that goes on between 2 people....I have not even written about my thoughts and feelings about tiffs with relatives, friends or other crazies that I have met throughout my life. Come to think of it I don't have a problem talking about these subjects :)

I would prefer to maintain a personal journal to record my inner-most thoughts and password protect it! It's the age of digital journals and I can write pretty much what I please without worrying about who would stumble upon my private thoughts and feelings compared to the old days when diaries could and would be opened by anyone from parents to ! Well that's me.

But I should admit, these bloggers have lots of courage and I admire them for that. I love their bindaas attitudes which screams "I don't care what the world thinks!" This is probably the reason why there are many more followers on such blogs compared to other not too personal blogs...Way to go people..hats off to you!

Different Worlds - some heavy ranting

It is such an interesting world...there are some countries (like where yours truly is from) where people start work early in the morning and continue late into the night and hardly complain. They go about it like it is their life's mission - the mission which enables them to take care of bills and pay mortgages. Most don't have the advantage of leaving work on the dot at 5:00PM or say something when their boss SMS'es them to be at work bright and early on a week end when they have worked until 2:00PM the previous night or when they are asked to cut short a holiday to get into work just because it is expected of them....Even Tea and Coffee is rationed at most places of work and folks don't get to enjoy long luxurious lunches. Not to mention that the commute to and from work probably leaves them in bad mood for the entire week! If you happen to be a working woman, you have the additional exciting tasks like cooking dinner after a long day at work, cleaning up, wake up early next morning to cook lunch for you and your better half before you both rush to work , put up with your maid (if you have one)etc., If you have kids its even more fun - you just need to manage a sleepy or screaming toddler, drop em off at school or day care and rush to work before the boss can make a comment about why they should not be hired! More about this later.

Then there is the other side of the world - people get into work as they please. The moment they get into the office you will find that they have not even settled into their chairs or checked their emails but there they are already gossiping with others who don't mind listening to their useless banter and the incessant ranting and complains! Some people are always too good for what they do, they are better than everyone else even when they are not, they need to keep telling themselves and you how you can never be the same as them even though you can and you already are (you are probably better). They have the knack of looking busy and stressed thereby exuding an important exterior. Men and women alike think its no big deal to miss deadlines, not turn up to meetings, not answer emails (heck they are busy browsing the internet) and basically do whatever it is that they please. They have great paid vacation time, protected by extremely strong employment laws where you cannot discriminate based on gender, color, race, medical conditions.. you are not even allowed to verify their performances at their previous jobs or for references!! Oh let me add that these kind of employees are rarely ever taken to task!

I am in awe of this world - how does this even exist? How can an organization with such employees show growth? How can such a world bloom and grow? This is a world protected by an excess of everything: land, food, water, strong laws and more. It is a world which going to be filled up with lazy folks who can't do anything few years from now..a world where there would be very few achievers and one that would contain an overflow of those depending on the government to hand out benefits for any kind of disaster or personal problems that rise out of their own making. These folks are too lazy to work so they get fired and the govt has to hand out unemployment! I know of those who make sure that get fired so that they can collect unemployment without doing anything..And because they are unemployed they cant afford medical care so that government has to hand out free medical care! And what is the source of cash to make sure that all these people have a cushy life - tax payers money. A few people work hard and pay their taxes so that the rest of the country and sponge off someone's sweat and blood.

When I think of such deep issues I only wonder if God is being unfair. Did he really create some countries and its citizens to be above others? Did he just create someone countries and its citizens to be slaves to these so called superior countries? Is he just so mad at some countries that he filled them with rotten politicians? What other rational explanation exists? And why is it that hard working citizens anywhere have it tougher than the lazy ones?? So many questions and no real answers....

Conversations with MM

Tuesday afternoon after a long week end my mind (MM)which pretty much likes to do its own thing tells me:

MM: I wanna do something adventurous,
Go back packing some where or just pack and go somewhere (based on convenience),
Stay in a small town, in the mountains....

SR (that's me):Maybe, but please ensure that there is running water and electricity...am all for the simple life but I need to shower everyday and not let the heat and mosquitoes kill me..

MM:(after a whatever expression)....Live the simple life
Write, paint, eat, sleep, grow my own vegetables, cook......

SR: Yeah sure - If we don't get too lazy that is!BTW from where will the funding come for this dream trip??

MM: Why do you have to rain on my parade? Do u have to be practical all the time?? I can't believe I live within you!! I am so adventurous, creative, and happy go lucky and u....

SR: Well.....

- Interrupted by a superior at work (SP@work)

SP@work: So whats the status on the blah blah item we were working on this morning???
SR: Well its going on a blah bleeh mode and should be done soon....

MM: While this silly girl is trying to work on real life let me go back and doze some more before she will let me fly.

Krishna and Me

Today is one of my most favorite Hindu Indian festivals - Krishna Jayanthi as we tam brams call it or Krishna Janmashtami as the rest of India calls it. I am not sure why this is one of my favorite festivals especially when the other festivals are equally amazing. Maybe it is the food quotient attached to this one.......think about it: seedais, murukus, thatais, milk sweets, fruits basically just about everything. But then every tam bram festival is always comes on top where food is concerned. God! all this talk about food makes me want to schedule a day off and go home right now and start eating. Oh! How I digress!

So why is this special to me?? Cos Krishna is my most favorite God! OK..I know there plenty of you ladies out there and a few guys who might claim the same thing, but for me my relationship with Krishna has been a life long thing. If you are interested about the how and why's read on else you can just skip this post right now!

• I befriended Krishna when I was very young! As soon as I started babbling words as a baby. My parents always fondly tell me stories of how I would stay awake (after they though I was asleep)at night speaking to the red night lamp in the room babbling the words "aalithana la lal la lal"!!! Nobody could figure out this meant...almost 2.5 decades later a few years ago my mom who was listening to a discourse somewhere understood what I had meant while saying those words..it was code for aaillai krishna which actually means baby Krishna on a leaf!

• I got my first toy a little plastic doll (which I still have btw) right at the time I started to talk... I named him Krishna! Nobody knew why and neither did I. "Krishna papa" stayed with me all the time for a few years. Teddy bears and other toys came and went but "Krishna papa" stayed and enjoys his place on the shelf till date! Maybe one day (hopefully) my kids can play with him.

• When we lived in B'lore my mom had this awesome statue of Lord Krishna playing the flute in the living room. She had drooled over this magnificent piece of art and purchased it for its beauty and craftsmanship. One day as she was working elsewhere in the house, I am presuming it was the kitchen, she heard a loud crashing noise. Since it happened to come from the living room she rushed there only to find the magnificent statue of Krishna on the ground broken in several pieces and yours truly standing / kneeling right beside the "holy" mess! Obviously she was flooded with anger as an expensive piece of art was gone and asked me why I broke the statue. The reason lil ole me gave was "I was playing with Krishna and he fell down"!! Needless to say I received a lot of wacks and mom never ever purchased delicate objects of beauty again - at least not until I grew up!

• During the summer holidays after completing my 5th grade I was introduced to paints and brushes! It took me a year or two to get really friendly with them paints and brushes and then boom! There I was painting pictures of Krishna one after the other. Some of them hang in my house, some were gifted to others and some are still trying to find a spot on the wall where they can proudly rest....This phase continued despite classes, exams, college projects and more..

I don't know what happened with me since I started working! Seems that the more and more I flooded myself with ambitions to snag a corner office with a view somewhere (which I am sad to report that I have not yet done) and travel the world, I immersed myself in a web of meetings, deliverables, late nights with no sleep and bad food and what not. I didn't even realise as Krishna slowly slipped away from my heart and moved far, far away. He was around but we were not as close as before... On this day as Indians across the world celebrate his birthday I hope to make an effort once more to woo him back to where he belongs which is close to my heart. The first step was realisation and I think I did that pretty well...

Happy Krishna Jayanthi to all....What your most favorite Krishna experience? I would love to know...

Weighty Woes

What is it with women and weight? We never seem to be the right size to make us happy! In order to avoid being generic I am going to make this about me and how my mind works regarding this issue. Me - am never happy about my weight! With great difficulty and lots of sacrifices (call it not eating properly cos I was lazy to cook and clean by myself all 7 days of the week!) I did loose a few extra pounds that I carried on me before I moved away from home. Boy! did that make me happy - loosing the weight I mean. All those days of eating whole grains and brown rice and avoiding ice creams seem to have paid off! And then my parents came to visit and here I am few months later finding out that my clothes are a bit snug! Like most other women who obsess about this issue my first reaction was panic! I was on my mothers case, telling her that it was her cooking that caused it (in a fun way of course) - you see its the effect of food being served with lots of love and affection :-) As long as I did the cooking and groceries and maintained my eating habits I did not have this problem...maybe its true, maybe its not.

Anyways now I am left wondering how to get rid of the extra pounds that have found their on me and am making myself miserable trying to think of ways to shed it off! I have been hitting the gym like a loyal dog and I am definitely not feeling very kindly towards all the skinny dames out there who eat as they please and never gain a single ounce! God is just unfair sometimes!!! Man I do hate the gym! I prefer doing chores around the house and walking everywhere!

And the food, the less said on that topic the better! I am trying to get back to my "healthy" eating habits but it is such a tough job after those months where food was served with love :) I have been trying hard to come up with a list of food I can give up. Well there is no way I am kissing cheese good bye! Hey am only human you know and considering all the crazy stuff that goes on in life, cheese gives me comfort and that can't go! I did manage to get rid of a bag of Hershey kisses.. I dumped it in the common candy bowl at work with a really heavy heart! Yesterday I found myself almost throwing away the biscuits and then I came into my senses and hid them in the tallest shelf in the kitchen! I will probably be too lazy to fetch a stool and stand on it to get access to the shelf! At least I hope so...

As of now I have decided to ignore that weighing scale that lies in my room. Checking my weight is a strict no no. The day will arrive when I shall win that scale, when that magic number appears in pretty red digital print. I wait for that day and until then I bid adieu to chocolates, ice creams and all other evil food! My parting words to the cruel food world - Hasta la vista......I'll be back!

Fighting Negativity: One Annoying person at a time!

Some of these random questions have been troubling me of late: Where would you draw the line for those trying to nose their way into your life and yack about how you should or shouldn't be living it? Is it appropriate when relatives want to know how much you earn and what your spending pattern looks like or what you should or shouldn't wear? How do you deal with all those who think that they know all and have it all together? Do people have the right to push their opinions on you whether you like it or not?

When it actually comes to being useful to those around you I feel there are two kinds of people in this world. Those that can actually make a positive difference in your life with kind words, moral support and genuinely try to help you and the others who claim that they know everything (when they don't) and think that they help you while blabbering hours together about what you should and shouldn't do and don't really help you at all! I hate this second category and sometimes I just wish I could do away with such folks. But the journey of life is such that these people get rammed down your neck whether you like it or not and you just can't tell them off [especially when you are related :( ]

The best escape mechanism I have come up with is avoidance! If I think that these people don't exist then they don't! Call it living in denial!! A single phone call from folks like this can spoil you entire day and since I decided that I won't have more days in my life ruined I avoid such calls :) I prefer to read my books, do my sketches, listen to music and basically do everything which in "their" opinion means wasting my life! How do you deal with problem cases like this? Is my way the best way or do you have something better?? Do let me know - Your thoughts could prove to be extremely useful.

A Random SOS call....

It’s a roller coaster week – Right now, the world of finance seems to enjoy nothing better than crashing in all directions. The panic is evident among folks from all walks of lives and I bet it is a tedious week for the man (or woman as the case may be) up there who sees and manages it all. A few examples of requests he /she have probably been receiving:

1. The blue collar worker: Dear God let nothing happen to my bank, my money is in there!
2. Employee at the bank: Dear God let nothing happen to this bank, I work here plus my money is in here….somewhere!
3. The board of the bank: Dear God let the feds approve our loan request to bail us out so that we don’t get pelted by our employees and the blue collar workers or anyone else!
4. Employees of an IT company: Dear God we hope that this crisis wave doesn’t hit any of our prospects. We need the projects so badly! Also our money is lying in some of those banks………..
5. Other positive thinkers: Dear God, let my mortgage rates go down, so that my installment years could be reduced from 10 to 9 and our money is in some of those banks!!!

In the midst of these panic attacks, I panicked because I got locked out of my personal email account! Anyone who had chanced to see me this morning, trying to get my email account to open, ignoring my morning cup of tea that lay forgotten on my window sill would have been in splits! I had no money in there though…Priorities you guys! I made it to work, and dragged my way to the cafeteria for my espresso shot (I had forgotten the tea, remember?) and fellow colleagues were animatedly discussing what else but the financial crisis! Most memorable dig at the entire issue was this one liner: What would you prefer: Being stranded in the midst of Ike the hurricane or the East coast financial crisis?

Our time was spent worrying and debating this issue and its possible effects on the economy of a country and in turn its people. At the end of the discussions and with the Feds, republicans and democrats still continuing to fight it out in the Promised Land, we had to put in few extra hours at work to make up for the debate time. I concluded that the solution to this issue is not something we can churn out, so why bother panicking about something that’s out of our hands. Panicking about locked personal email accounts seems more normal! I believe that the money is going to be there because the Promised Land is one power hungry nation and pigs will fly before they let anything untoward happen. As I try to stay afloat amidst these crazy times, my lips involuntarily utter the words: Dear God, please help me survive!