Cartoons in the Bigg House!

I have never been a fan of TV soaps. The sound effects and zillion camera freezes that change positions frequently in every possible way only give me a headache. However when I heard that Bigg Boss was going to forecast season 2, it got me curious. I had not paid any attention to season 1 though it was all over the news and as a punishment to the sinful mortals Rakhi Sawant was unleashed on 98% of Indians! Anyways, my experiences with living with fellow roommates, (especially one crazy psycho character) got me curious to take a peek into the Bigg Boss house. The motley crew is a mix of politicians, actresses, item girls, non-celebrities of which a good chunk is terribly boring generating huge yawns when they appear on the screen. I have so much to say that I am am going to start from most boring and annoying characters to the ones that are the life of the show.

Dumb and Dumber –> Raja Choudhary and Ashutosh Kaushik: Yawn! Yawn! Yawn! That’s my reaction when you guys appear and try to do whatever it is that you do. By the way what do you expect to achieve from your stint in this show? Raja, if you want to people to understand what your real side is, we don’t want to know! You seem to do nothing other than mope around be a grouch. Well, we have enough grouches in our lives and they are more interesting than you. Next time if you plan to dive into the swimming pool please stick to swim shorts like the rest of the men! Appearances in those briefs will not help you either! Ashutosh the rustic, if you are here trying to get employment in Bollywood the only opening I can see is you setting up a high end dhaba! Just clean up your act rather than using bad language, behaving like the village idiot and being an obnoxiously blunt person which you believe to be an amazing personality trait. Both guys need to control your green monsters with regards to a certain fellow room mate and also stop attacking him for no reason!

Kitchen Matron->Ketaki Dave: A ra ra!!! The kitchen is the only place where you seem to be! Even the guys are annoyed about the fact that you have taken over the kitchen. Now that is a very rare event to happen in the world but when it happens it makes one sit up and take notice! If cooking, cleaning and being a silent part of the circle is all your strategy please do everyone a favor and nominate yourself out. You seem to portray yourself as someone who cares for everyone else. Seriously! That’s all very saintly of you but you need to start behaving more like a normal person!

Videsi mem ya desi!! -> Alina Wadia: ‘Boo Hoo I am a common girl!’ Stop crying about that!!! You knew you were a non-celebrity when you entered the contest. If you want to become one, loose the fake accent for starters. You don’t seem to have a typical English accent but you try to roll your r’s here and there so that we don’t forget that you studied in England! You entered the house with a good girl image and I read that you are not afraid to speak your mind! All that is good but stop gossiping and do what you need to do with élan and dignity and go easy on the ‘F’ word!

Cry baby->Payal Rohatgi: People of the house were right when they joked about you putting on a new face every morning when you did your make up, rather make over. The only entertainment we have had from you has been in the form of tears. Stop trying to be the superior Miss. goodie two shoes that you are not. Oh! Yes! It is pretty obvious that you are being a fake! If only you were yourself folks like me wouldn’t be too annoyed.

King of Drawl -> Ehsaan Qureshi: Stop! Please do more than dragging words when you talk. I for one do not find you funny at all Ehsaan jiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Till date you have made it clear to the junta that you have been possessed by the green monster when it comes to Rahul Mahajan! You seem to be obsessed with the fact that he hangs out with the girls and not you guys! Lets face it: With the kind of grouches and morons that make up the male crowd of the house, not many men would want to hang out with your gang, leave alone Rahul!

Sakuni -> Zulfi Sayed: That sweet innocent face masks the scheming imp behind it! Your gradual foray into character bashing and incessant drilling of a public favorite on his financial matters and embarrassing him has wiped out the clean image that you had to start with. I don’t find you cute anymore. Have you ever thought of joining a political party?? You seem a better fit than even Sanjay Nirupam who was voted out early into the show. If the inmates of the house knew what’s good for them, you would be voted out at the earliest!

Drama Queen -> Sambhavana Seth: Jeez girl! Everything is not always about you!! Get over it! Your constant declarations on how you are the only decent person who did not commence groups in the house is getting too old and on our nerves! Are you attempting to be a better version of Rakhi Sawant?? You come across as a good but annoying person when you are being junglee and attempting comedy! Just stop talking and analyzing what others do and say along with your constant self justification about what others may think about you in your imagination; you may actually find yourself in the race.

Nice Guy-> Debojit Saha: You are one of the best among the guys in the house. You always seem to smile and sing. I haven’t found you character bashing and you seem pretty calm and composed! Keep it up!

Mysterious->Monica Bedi: Not much to say much about you considering that you have probably gone through a lot in your life and have probably paid for the mistakes you committed. You seem to have captured the sympathy of the public and come across as someone who trying to do the right thing when it comes to the politics of the house. Here’s wishing you good luck and also hoping that your behavior and attitudes never change because if it does we will know!

Mr. Sunshine ->Rahul Mahajan: The life of the show! The cheerful face, the never ending enthusiasm, the take it easy attitude and good natured humor is not appreciated by the other men in the house but is a hit among the women! The most delightful Lord Krishna to appear on television after Nitish Bharadwaj, who played the same role in B.R Chopra’s Mahabharat though I have my doubts on how good a politician you may be. You don’t seem to have any of the evil traits that are paramount to become a politician! You smiled and got around the guys when they were provoking and embarrassing you on national TV though your uncomfortable body language was apparent. Anyone else in your place might have lost it. You even clean the bathrooms! Hat’s off to you! You definitely come across as a good human being. I hope you make it among the top 3.

Last but not the least, the hostess Shilpa Shetty. I have not witnessed Arshad Warsi in the last season of Bigg Boss so no comparisons here. Shilpa, India loves you but you need to change your approach to hosting this show which is getting pretty stale now! We have heard enough of ‘The Shilpa Channel’, relating to the participants based on your participation in Big Brother and the usual manner displayed in communicating with the participants each week. Even Pooja Bedi seems to be doing a better job than you on Aakhri Salaam!! Please do something about this and get more sensible with your wardrobe. Your saree on day 1 of the show was simply atrocious!

That it from me folks!! Any thoughts on the subject are welcome!

I Read...

Here I am racking my brains again on what exactly I should be writing about. Honestly, this is my third attempt at maintaining a blog. All I know is that I have so many things to talk about but my hands fall asleep when I try to convert my thoughts into words. Some of my friends have been egging me for sometime now on how I need to start somewhere so that I could get somewhere as far as my passion for writing is concerned. So I thought I’d write about some of the authors whose books whisked me away to another realm when the rest of the world enjoyed an afternoon siesta or an evening before the telly!!

Here goes in no particular order……

Doughlas Adams – The dude rocks! He has definitely taken science fiction to the most imaginative and humorous extent possible. I fell in love with the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and even more with the paranoid robot Marvin. The very thought of characters such as Zaphod Beeblebrox and the Dentrassis and the concept of the Babel fish bring a smile to my face. Too bad Doughlas Adams passed away at an early age, people like myself will definitely miss any of the other books he would have written.

Robert Asprin – The name sounds like some cure for a headache doesn’t it? Well his books may actually do the trick by making you break into peels of laughter. He takes you on a fantasy journey into the world of ‘Myth’ along with ‘Skeeve’ the thief turned magician apprentice and his teacher ‘Aahz’ the demon that lost his magic due to a summoning ritual gone wrong. Of course the army of imp assassins, the dimension of Deva populated by the deveels and their popular bazaars leave a reader wanting more! I will definitely miss more books from Mr. Asprin. May his soul rest in peace!

Dan Brown – His books got me hooked on to historical fictions. The amount of research that has gone behind each of these books can be felt as one reads ‘Angels and Demons’ or ‘The Da Vinci Code’. Thanks to him I fell in love with Italy / Rome and I also felt sad that I did not pay much attention at the Louvre museum! I also enjoyed his ‘Deception Point’ about a compelling scientific discovery deep in the Atlantic Ocean. However his ‘Digital Fortress’ was a let down… The book dragged on so much that I wished I hadn’t started reading it.

Phillipa Gregory – The lady who got me curious about the history of England, its castles, cultures and the royal way of life! Her book ‘The Other Boleyn girl’ though panned by critics for its historical inaccuracies was a very candid look into the life of King Henry VIII and his beautiful wife, the proud Anne Boleyn who played an important role in shaping the religious future of England. The elements of politics, ambition, love and betrayal in the midst of London, the English country side and France makes the reader sit up and inspires one to know more about the history of their own country. I wish there was a way to introduce the world to our rich history in an interesting way other than just Bollywood!

Michael Crichton – The man behind the ‘Jurassic Park Series’. I was surprised to know the he was also the author of ‘Disclosure’ which was a corporate drama; far from the cry of dinosaurs and Orangutans! I especially enjoyed his travel back to medieval England with ‘Timeline’ and the journey into the deep jungles of Africa with ‘Congo’. The possibilities with science are sure to send a shiver down your spine with ‘Next’.

J K Rowling – I know many of you don’t think much of her writing abilities; however I am sure most of us would agree that she is good story teller. Her books are entertaining, creative and she seems to have a knack of connecting even the smallest of events together. The Harry Potter Series was definitely a page turner and I have not experienced even the slightest boredom in turning the pages even when I re-read the books.

Terry Pratchett – Another great author who gives science fiction yet another makeover by introducing the world to the dimension of ‘Ankh-Morpork’ and a concept that Earth is actually balanced on the back of four elephants trying to balance themselves on the back of a giant turtle! Stunned? His characters like the magician Rincewind, the walking trunk with life and other delightful misfits and imbeciles who create the ecology of Ankh-Morpork would definitely take you on roller coaster of laughter and curiosity.

Stephen King – The undisputed King of horror fictions in my list! The first book I read by him was ‘Salems Lot’. I couldn’t help not putting down the book. The idea of the hunt for evil vampires that have taken over an entire town was novel and scary only after Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Kings other books such as Christine, Pet Cemetery and Thinner made me wonder what kind of research the author had to do to write such convincing plots. Kudos to him!

Sidney Sheldon – I started reading books by this author after finding some of his publications in my dad’s mobile trunk library. I found his books thrilling and they never seemed to give away what’s coming next. My personal favorite was ‘Tell Me Your Dreams’ and among those who have read the book till date, there is always doubt on whether the main protagonists alter ego was really chased away.

Jeffrey Archer – I am not sure how I started reading his books. His books always reminded me of some of our Hindi movies, especially ‘Sons of Fortune’. I also enjoyed ‘The Prodigal Daughter’ where he made possible for the United States to have its first female president. The only other fictional female president I can think of is that of the Geena Davis starring as the American president in the show ‘Commander and Chief’. My favorite book of the lot was ‘False Impression’. No surprise here as it that had a lot to do with arts and artists.

Ayn Rand – I read ‘The Fountainhead’ by this author. Other than the fact she created a character that lived an Utopian existence in the midst of a greedy world, the book did not hold much fascination for me. I found the book packed with too many details that just dragged its story line….

And more…… Hey! Don't think I have run out of a list of authors; its just that I am tired and would like to move on. So until next time share with me any of your favorite authors and books and Happy reading!